January 04, 2015

Being myself

Here we are in crisp, new, fresh 2015! So much has changed and yet nothing seems to be different. Its funny how things don't seem to be moving an inch every day and yet when we look back nothing is the same.

End of 2014 gave me a new job, a better salary, a smaller place to work, lesser travel, mediocre company and adjustment issues. 2015 has just begun this year like every year I am going to make resolutions. This year is mine! My time is now. I have loved and lost. And how! He has moved on and here I am still brooding, still crying, still waiting, still hoping that he would come back. It has been 6 years now. It is a long long time. Long enough for me to accept that he has indeed moved on.

This year I want live for myself. I want to focus on myself and do everything that makes me feel good. I am not sure what, not sure how. But I will figure out what can make me happy. I am amused that I do not know what can make me happy. I haven't been happy in a long time and have almost forgotten how it feels like to be happy. I don't have a plan. But I have a goal. My goal is knowing myself better by the end of this year. This year is not about thinking about my past. It is about finding my feet in my present. I want to feel beautiful. I want to be alone and be comfortable in my silence. I want to be me.

Until later.

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